Love is a Mix Tape: Life and Memorex

Love is a Mix Tape
By Rob Sheffield
Crown Publishers
224 pages

I have to admit, I always thought Rob Sheffield was a douchebag.

I didn't have a lot to base that on, other than the Rolling Stone contributing editor's appearances on VH-1's "I Love the '90s" and the like. I know it's wrong. It was wrong in high school. It's wrong almost 20 years later. I want to be a better person, I do. Some times I can't help but make snap judgments; I would see Sheffield on TV and the first thing I would think is "douchebag."

I'm not sure that Sheffield would necessarily disagree with that assessment. He says as much, at least when describing his junior-high self, in "Love is a Mix Tape."

Whether or not we could agree on my unfounded name-calling, I think Sheffield and I could agree on one thing: Music has the power to bring together people with seemingly nothing else in common. It worked for Sheffield, a "shy music geek" and his wife, Renee, a "hell-raising Appalachian punk-rock girl." Music also has an amazing power to heal, which Sheffield found out the hard way when Renee tragically died young.

"Love is a Mix Tape" is an endearing memoir. Sheffield writes in a voice that sounds honest; he never tries to hide his vulnerability or his fear. Even if he made himself sound heroic, it would only be as a subplot. Renee is the undisputed star of the show.

They first bond over Big Star's "Thirteen," and there's a good chance that you'll be drawn to her (rockgrrrls) if not downright smitten with her (fan boys) about the same time Sheffield is. That is to say immediately. I started to get a little crush on Renee, too, a testament to his depiction of her. That's all there is to go on; there is no picture of her in the book except the one he describes in loving detail. He is to be commended for keeping that part of her to himself.

Sheffield uses several of the mix tapes he made before, during and after his time with Renee to take the reader on a guided tour up to and through the decade that shaped him � the '90s. It's an exciting time to recall, too, given that the '90s were the decade in which alternative rock broke into the mainstream in a big way. The love story is intertwined with that movement, but I'll stay away from the anecdotes here. Like Sheffield's time with his wife, "Love is a Mix Tape" goes by much too fast. If you're inclined to read it, I'll let you enjoy them all on your own.

It's easy to get drawn into Rob and Renee's relationship. When Renee's death comes suddenly, you feel like she's being taken away from you, too. One can only imagine how hard it was for Sheffield. He does a pretty admirable job of telling us.

In the course of 224 pages, I did a 180 in my opinion of Sheffield. It's not just because he lost his wife. It's because the narrator of "Love is a Mix Tape" is more than just a music/pop-culture geek as seen on MTV. He's a human being, and one that I'd probably have a little in common with if we ran in the same circles. We definitely could talk about music. It would be awkward, because I'd owe him an apology first. After that, though, maybe I could offer to make him a tape. Somehow, music seems to make it all right.