The Rules

Since the birth of our daughter in December 2005, I’ve had to mostly give up my previous life as a frequent concertgoer. It’s a trade-off I’ve been more than happy to make, but I’ll also admit to being thrilled about getting to attend a few shows recently.

Now that I’m back in the game, I’m observing the others around me and thinking about how my pre-concert, concert and post-concert routines differ from those practiced by some of my fellow fans.

I prefer to call them “routines” because that makes them sound less rigid. Like a ballplayer who wears the same socks every game or always steps on the third-base line when running onto the field, I like to think that the way I prepare for a concert and the way that I enjoy the post-show glow ensure that I’m going to get the maximum enjoyment out of The Experience. Really, though, they’re rules. And although they only govern my behavior (and that of like-minded friends), I think they are rules that should not be broken.

The Rules didn’t come from a rulebook. Nobody passed them down to me. I didn’t draft them in one sitting. They are the product of trial and error, revelry and ridicule. They also are the result of collaborations, with respected music fans and friends such as my wife, Sharon, HickoryWind’s own Stacy Chandler and her husband, Geoffrey. Enough about the process; without further buildup, here are my six rules for maximum concert enjoyment:

Do listen to the artist you are planning to see early and often in the days leading up to the show. I like to start about two weeks beforehand by pulling out a favorite album or compilation that I haven’t heard in a while. The wife and I are heading out to see Shawn Colvin and John Hiatt tonight, so I started a couple of weeks ago with Hiatt’s “The Best of John Hiatt” and “Greatest Hits: The A&M Years ’87-’94.” That was a perfect primer, and brought back memories from a bunch of great Hiatt shows. Compilations always get me in the mood to hear deep-album tracks, and a handful of discs soon are back in heavy rotation. It reaches a peak a day or two before the concert, when I try to listen to the artist’s entire catalog (or as much of it as I own) in chronological order.

Do not listen to the artist on the day of the show. This is a time for cleansing the palette and the mind. You’ve prepared for the big night; further cramming will be of no reasonable use. The heavy rotation and the tour of the discography have left you eager to hear certain classics and forgotten favorites. Now let the anticipation build. I spent the day of a recent George Thorogood show listening to artists that had influenced his work: Howlin’ Wolf, Chuck Berry, Slim Harpo, Elmore James and John Lee Hooker.

Do not wear your T-shirt from one of the artist’s past tours to the show. If you’re at a Springsteen show, everybody there already knows that you dig The Boss. Nobody shells out $75 to see somebody who they think is a hack. There’s no credibility to be gained by wearing your shirt from “The River” tour. Failure to follow this rule means that you will be known to your neighbors as “that guy.” If you should happen to wear your old concert shirt to the show, do not, under any circumstances, put the new shirt you just purchased at the merchandise table on over your old shirt. The giggles you hear will be directed at you. The stares you draw will be centered on your less-than-hip layered look … or perhaps your ear-to-ear combover. If you’re lucky, they’ll only notice your black socks.

Do wear a shirt that compliments the artist that you are about to see. This is where you really get to tell those around you, “Why, yes, I do have exquisite taste in music.” There are three basic ways to choose complimentary clothing:

You can choose a shirt depicting an artist who is a peer of or an influence on the one you are seeing. To continue the Springsteen example, this might be a good time to break out one of your old Bob Dylan shirts. If you’ve got a Roy Orbison shirt, this would be a good place to wear it.

You can choose a shirt from an artist who was influenced by the musician who you are seeing. I would recommend Steve Earle for a Springsteen show.

Finally, you could choose a shirt taken from the genre of music the artist in question plays. In the case of Springsteen, you’re mostly talking about good old rock and roll (although it’s harder to tell these days). So the choices are many: Tom Petty or Bob Seger for the older folks; Marah or Jesse Malin for the younger ones. Take a chance if you dare. A Chris Isaak shirt might elicit a comment or two, particularly from the ladies. Your Anthrax shirt likely will leave people wondering how you wound up at a Springsteen show.

Do not listen to the artist you have just seen after the show. This might be the hardest of the rules to abide by. The temptation is great to crank your favorite song as you sit in your car and wait for your chance to get out the parking lot. Be strong, because that song will sound even better the next morning on the commute as you gently ease the volume knob to “11.” After the show, you must go to sleep and wake up before you can indulge. It will be worth the wait.

Do listen to the artist’s music in the days after the show. Often they’re touring behind a new album, and you’ve got to give that thing some spins to get it as ingrained as the rest of the catalog. If not, there’s nothing wrong with the old stuff. I like hearing new music as much as the next fan, but it’s always nice to take a trip through a favorite artist’s catalog.

Those are the rules that work for me. They might not be right for you. That’s OK, too. Sometimes it’s nice to not have any rules. Whichever you choose, remember to be courteous to your show-going neighbors. Don’t laugh at them, even if they’re wearing two shirts or their one strand of hair is flapping in the breeze. They might spend most of their time taking care of a little girl and just want to get out for a night. Have fun and enjoy. No matter how you approach it, at the end of the night it’s still about the music.